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The top whatever things that annoy me about facebook

Before I get started, let me just say I love facebook. I mean, I guess I do. I know I’m addicted to it and haven’t gone a day without visiting my page since like 2009, so maybe I’m just dependent on it.

Whether I like it or not is irrelevant because, like most anything else in life (and facebook has become life), there are things about it that annoy me.

The reason I put “whatever” in my post instead of an actual number is because I’m not sure how many things about facebook annoy me; I’ll just list them until I run out…..or get tired.

Here we go in no particular order:

* Vaguebooking. I’ve touched on this before. This is when one of your friends posts a really dramatic but vague status update like, “Sorry, you had your chance! This ship has sailed!” Who was trying to board your ship? Was it me? I mean, we did date last year, and I just said “hi” to you in facebook chat five minutes ago. If it’s me, you could have said this in facebook chat.

* facebook chat. Don’t get me wrong, I love facebook chat because it’s like instant messenger for people who know people. However, what really irritates me about the chat app is the friends who NEVER respond to you, even though they read the message. I realize we’re all guilty of this from time-to-time, but I’m talking about the habitual people who won’t even respond to an actual important question. This, of course, is a variation of the people who never respond to tweets, texts or emails.

*People who stop communicating right in the middle of a facebook/text/tweet conversation, and this is often the case when they, themselves, start the conversation with you. Imagine, if you will, having an in-person conversation with someone that goes like this:

“Hey!”

“Hello, how are you?”

“Fine! How’s work?”

“Work is a drag, but at least I’m going on vacation next week.”

“Oh yeah? Where are you going?”……….and the person simply just walks away without even acknowledging your question about his or her vacation. That would be socially unacceptable, right? Well, the ignored last question happens every day on social media–including facebook chat–and it’s just annoying.

*Facebook clipart (I think that’s what it’s called). You know what I’m talking about. One of your friends posts something in a big gigantic box like, “Yes, I know I’m drinking at 12 p.m. during work, but they say it’s 5 p.m. somewhere, and I’m on English time.” Hahahahaha! It’s just so funny, especially when there’s a picture of a man from the 1950s included with the phrase.

*Speaking of clipart, what about the people around your age that post stuff like, “If you grew up when you had to play outside all day, you had to be in by 8, you didn’t have a cell phone, you didn’t play video games and you respected your parents, pass this along!” Are you freaking kidding me, person who is my age? We grew up in the 80s; the older generations thought we were lazy and disrespectful little assholes, who just wanted to sit on our fat butts all day and play Pacman. We were spoiled little brats, and you and I both know it. Pass THIS along!

*The Walking Dead. Yes, I know this show has really nothing to do with facebook, but my friends sure love to post about it every damn Sunday night. Some examples: “Going for a run, working out at the gym, eating a fabulous dinner and then The Walking Dead!” Or they’ll just hashtag it in their facebook status update: “#TheWalkingDead!” For all I know this show could be my all-time favorite if I actually had AMC, but I’m so damn sick of hearing about how great it is, I will forever boycott the show.

*Postings about how we have to love Jesus. I do love Jesus, I told you that the other day when I “liked” your post about it. Why do I have to tell you again today that I love Jesus? He’s Jesus, I’m sure he knows that I love him, whether I “like” your post or not.

*The people who tell you you must be thankful for each day every time there’s a tragedy (personal or world-wide). This kind of status update would be impactful if it happened once in a blue moon. But when it happens every other day, it loses a lot of weight. Maybe I don’t want to be thankful for today. Maybe I want to get it over with because tomorrow is………#TheWalkingDead!

*The middle finger picture post. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have, somewhere, someone is posing with a group of his or her buddies, and one of them is giving the finger to the camera.

*That one friend who sort of warns his friends via status update that he or she really has no use for facebook anymore and acts really sad that things such as “likes” have become so important and wonders if maybe deleting their page would be a good idea. (This often generates 90 million “likes.”)

*Cats. Facebook has made cats more annoying to me than they were before. Why? Do I really need to explain this to you?

Anyway, I hope I didn’t come off as being too smarmy and irreverent with this piece, but I know I won’t seem hypocritical………….Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go post three of my articles on facebook and beg for “likes.”

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